Creepin’ the Ex: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

There are some stupid things you shouldn’t do after breaking up (or so I have been lead to believe [not really my area of expertise]). Unfortunately, I’m kind of stupid sometimes, so I ignore such advice and common sense. I creeped her blog. Bad idea. Yet strangely comforting.

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Words

I have found my writing voice again. I’ve not been able to seriously write (recreational writing, that is [blogging is more like medicine for me than recreation haha]) for a very long time…at least three years. Yet, it has come back, and I find myself with a sense of inner happiness.

One might ask, ‘If writing makes you happy, why haven’t you done it all along?’. I tried, trust me. I did write a little, a poem here and there, a couple of short stories, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t getting so wrapped up in the words that time ceases to exist.

I am writing poetry. I found inspiration from Japanese tanka poet Ishikawa Takuboku. I only discovered him recently, but the very first poem of his that I read got me hooked:

on a white strip of sand

on a tiny island

in the eastern sea

drowned in tears

I play with a crab

It broke my heart. He and I are kin in sadness, but he also helped me find heart.

Compliment Yourself!

I believe that I have received more criticism in my life than I have praise. So if nobody else is going to praise me, I might as well! It really lifted my mood to write this list, and I highly recommend this activity to others.

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Out of Sorts

This will just be a quick, little check-in.

First off, I’d like to thank everybody for their support about my last post on my break up. I’ve not been able to really talk about the break up with anybody yet, so it was nice to have that outlet and to get other people’s responses.

So today, I should be writing a paper. No fear, the paper will get done, but I’m having a hell of a time concentrating. I have my book open, I know what I’m writing on, but I just can’t sit here and write it! I’m thinking maybe I just need to make a cup of tea, put on some music (for some strange reason, dubstep is good work/study music for me), and have at it. Good thing this isn’t a very important essay!

Also, while I feel as though I’ve been doing fairly well so far with the break up, today I really missed her. I’m stopping myself from contacting her, not because it would be hard on me (it is more hard for me to not talk to her at all, than to talk to her platonically), but because I want to give her the time and the space. I suppose it isn’t much different from missing my mum when I first went off to school; when you’re used to talking to somebody basically every day, it is hard on you when you cannot.

I guess I’m just a bit lonely or something, so if anybody wants to leave a comment and say ‘hi’, that would be sweet 🙂

Michelle

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