Lately I’ve had this pervasive thought. It is this: I have nothing to live for.
It’s not necessarily true. I have family, and I have friends. I even have school. It seems like that is enough for many people.
I’m not sure if it’s enough for me. I don’t see much of my family or my friends. Other than my brother, nobody is near by. School is just school. I don’t love what I currently study enough for it to emotionally sustain me.
I don’t have a significant other. I don’t have friends/family/peers (other than the aforementioned brother) that often. I don’t even have a pet.
It makes it harder to get up in the morning. It makes it harder to keep going.
It’s not easy for me to motivate myself to go on for myself. Yet, I think that’s what I need to be able to do.
So this is the plan: I’ll keep going. I’ll keep going until I find something to keep me going or until I’m good at going on for myself (practice makes perfect). Eventually, I think I’ll come across something to live for.