Something to Live For II

Well, I survived the tend of my school term and a visit home and now I’m back! I promised a part II to my post Something to Live For, and here it is.

On that post, Michael from made a good point:

I think that’s a common problem and you don’t have to be alone to have it. I have people and things but that same thought persists. I think it is because when you have someone or something, you start to believe that you don’t deserve them/it and they would be better off without you because all you ever do is hurt them or bring them grief!
I think it is the sickness and the change of circumstances wont change it much…”

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve thought about my family/friends/etc. and said to myself “They’ll be better off without me.” (Would they be? Probably not. Would they think themselves better off without me? Almost certainly not.). So, yes, I found it difficult to find something to live for even when there have been plenty of people (and pets) in my life. It’s surprisingly easy to forget about those thoughts when you’re not in that situation.

It’s strange for me. I know that some of my depression is situational depression – many people in the same circumstances would feel depressed. But there is also the dysthymia, which has very little to do with circumstances. When I’m feeling depressed, I can’t tell which is affecting me. Perhaps I could differentiate if I tried (and I will try, just to see).

Overall, this served as a reminder to me of how depression can put the blinders on; there’s a lot I don’t see and don’t think about when I’m depressed. If I’m not seeing the whole picture, maybe I’m also not seeing all the things worth living for. It’s worth a look, right?

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  1. lifeofmiblog

     /  May 3, 2015

    Thanks Michelle, very good post. Life is an amazing, precious gift and despite any kink there may be in our armor that takes the edge off our enjoying it, the good times are still good. Maybe we just need a little more support to get through the tough times, and to remember ‘this too will pass’. Take care

    • Thank you for making me think about things in-depth! 🙂

      • lifeofmiblog

         /  May 4, 2015

        No problem. I’m starting to think that the only way out of the places MI takes you, is to identify it, share it, and later laugh about it. It then seems a little easier to move along.

  2. Just stated to read your blog, Depression is an everyday fight,finding joy can be hard,but you have to be kind to yourself,and look for the small things that make you smile ,even for a moment,those moments put together help keep you going.Like pieces of a quilt,wrap yourself in them and always keep it near.My best to you and thanks for all the sharing.

    • You’re very right. Half the struggle is reminding yourself of the good things, but practice makes perfect, I think! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment 🙂


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