What I’ve been up to

Hello everyone! It’s been a while! I’m still alive.

A few people have asked for updates on my job search. Well, I’m still searching. It’s kind of a roller coaster (I want off the ride now…). I went through a series of interviews for a job that would have been a fairly good fit for me. I even got a bit hopeful that time, but it didn’t pan out. This was disappointing, but such is life, I guess. I just keep sending out my applications.

It’s very easy to get frustrated – with yourself, with the companies, with the society as a whole. I find myself wondering why I spent so many years in school when it doesn’t really seem worth it from a career standpoint (But don’t get me wrong, from an education and self-growth standpoint, I loved all those years of school.). I find myself wondering why the companies are asking for 5 years of experience for an entry level job. I find myself wondering why we put so much emphasis on people’s jobs (We so often ask people “What do you do?” even though it has very little to do with who they are as people.). I know I’m not the only person wondering these things; I know I’m not the only one who is frustrated. It’s not easy, and it’s not fun, but we all just keep plugging away.

What else have I been up to in my absence? I’ve been trying to separate myself from the internet a little bit. I love, love, love the internet, but it’s so easy to waste away a day surfing the web. I don’t want to do that, and I think it sometimes makes my depression worse, so I’ve tried to find some other ways to waste my time! I’ve been doing some exercise. I’ve been reading more books. I’ve been writing some books (Two of them! I was fairly proud of this, since I’ve wanted to write one since I was very small. Whether they’re any good still waits to be seen haha). I’ve been trying not to die in the humid heat of a Southwestern Ontario summer. I’ve been catching up with family and friends. I’ve been catching Pokemon. I’ve been eating way more potato chips than any human being should.

Basically, I’m just trying to fill my time and not let the depression set in. It’s an everyday battle. Some days are harder than others. But today is an okay day! I hope you have an okay day too! 🙂

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  1. Good to see you back! Praises to you on your strength and all the different things you’re doing to combat your depression. My Specter is an everyday battle, too. Thank you for your words in letting me know I’m not alone, my friend X.

  2. Laurie

     /  August 20, 2016

    After getting fired job after job and taking breaks in between, I was at my wits end. Thank goodness I have a very good Therapist that has helped me analyze why I keep getting fired. A lot of it had to do with either trying too hard and somehow making others feel inferior or not being trained properly, but that’s all in the past. A job offer basically fell into my lap one day and I have been at it for 6 weeks now. I like it and hope I will do well with it. The depression of losing 3 jobs in a row was crushing. I thought the time off between would help and I think it made it worse. And job hunting is especially depressing. Employers either never reply or when they do I got my hopes up and then everything fell through. So I got an agency/temp job and it helped to work and feel appreciated. That may be an option for you to get some references on the resume. But I definitely feel the anguish you are going thru. I didn’t want to work anymore and everything was discouraging. It will happen for you and a lot of it has to do with the economy. Getting your foot in the door helps also. Try to find someone in the field you want and maybe get hired within that company and work your way to your goal area of expertise.

    During my times between jobs, I lived on eBay and Googled everything in the world. Then I started binge watching TV series…Mr Robot, The Wire, Orange is the New Black, etc. My Mom would ask me what I had been doing and I realized that I was staring at a TV for 14 hours a day to avoid applying for jobs. You sound like you are being much more creative with your time. Writing has been on your wish list and you accomplished it whether it gets published or not. Good for you. Keep plugging at it and best of luck. You are definitely not alone. You have something to offer in your career — they just need to find you.

    • It is so difficult, isn’t it? I think I’ve watched my fair share of TV series while unemployed too! It’s just as addicting as the internet.
      Thank you and good luck with your new job! 🙂

    • Catching up on readings…
      Yes, I’ve done temp work in the past and found the experiences helpful-both personally and professionally. My last job application listed temp work references from a virtual colleague and manager-that I’ve never met. The entire work was remote-based and my time [90% of the work week] was in South Florida, traveling around for various meetings.

      You’d think there was a great amount of freedom with this kind of temp work-but there wasn’t. The progress of your deliverables was tracked by your online presence (IM),the speed and accuracy of your e-mail replies, and not interfering with general progress.

  3. It is an everyday battle. Glad to see you back online. Take care of yourself.

  4. I too have a bad relationship with the internet, it sucks, and I think it depresses me too. I am about to graduate from college in December and I’m kind of freaked out going into the “real world” it makes my depression pretty bad sometimes, cause I feel kind of hopeless, but some days are better than others. I too blog about depression on wordpress at mentalhealthmentalweathsite.wordpress.com, also I’ll leave my email smarino@mix.wvu.edu, id you ever wanna keep in touch. Hope everyday is a good day for you.

  5. Aimee Eddy

     /  October 6, 2016

    Interesting blog post. You are taking the right steps to fighting your depression. I found keeping myself busy keeps me from dwelling on my own mental illness. The battle is a daily struggle but it’s worth the fight. Keep fighting and don’t give up on the job search.

  6. I so envy you. You are still looking at the bright side despite that.. I, too, was struggling to get a job. I had worked for 5 years and I recently resigned because I realized I’m not happy with what I was doing. So I decided I’d rather be broke than unhappy (it used to be the opposite, but I’ve finally given up). But did it actually make me happy? I don’t know. Now I’m feeling more down than ever. I’m not sure if I even made the right choice. Should I just endure everyday even if I was struggling getting up every morning to go to work? Maybe. At least I have money. Depressed but with money.

    I’ve been trying to get a job for a month now, but still no luck. I guess I’ve written over 20 cover letters, but still no one would hire me. It’s really hard being an adult. I’ve been isolating my self from friends and social media because it only makes me feel pathetic, seeing everyone moving on with their life. It’s really hard. My parents are not saying anything. But I know they are worried that I’m still unemployed. My younger siblings have good jobs while I, the eldest, is an unemployed bum. I can’t help but feel the pressure. I’m actually scared of waking up every single day, days passed so quickly and nothing changes for me.

  7. Little blue

     /  August 1, 2017

    Reading your blog is great and inspirational. I just found a lady on YouTube “keishacarmen” who I ran across by accident. I listened to her videos and felt encouraged. I found her email address and emailed her personally. I was blown away by her encouragement. Let’s keep going and stay focused and positive and have people around that can encourage us. Keep up the good work!! 🙂


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