About

Michelle is a 20-something student from Canada.
She has a honours B.A. in philosophy and English.
She is also trained in technical communication.
She enjoys reading, writing, art, and music.
She loves to learn.
She’s a bit of a geek.
This blog is supposed to be therapeutic for her.
She is known to speak in third person.

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10 Comments

  1. I love reading your blog. Really well written. I hope you manage to help others through your writing.
    I started writing a blog about living with depression very recently, and I find it really therapeutic.

    Wishing you all the best!

    Hayley
    thepursuitofhappiness1.blogspot.co.uk

    Reply
    • Emma

       /  February 24, 2016

      Hi Hayley,

      I’d love to view your blog but it seems to be invite only.

      Em

      Reply
    • would you mind if i read your blog? i’m doing the same thing as you. struggling through depression and using this site to vent the stress and emotion somewhere… :/

      all the best.

      – SS.

      Reply
  2. astralunit

     /  March 16, 2016

    Hi Michelle

    Struggling to come out of the Winter. Creativity on zero. Needing to do something about it. Can’t think what…. Thought I would read some depression blogs, see what other people are doing. It helped to clear up some ideas I have been having about depression.

    First of all, I can’t think of it as an illness. It has been part of my personality for over 40 years now, so that’s what I call it, a personality trait, a part of me. Not an illness. That’s something that is treatable, eventually goes away or kills you off. So when the medics started to talk in terms of ‘recovery’, I recoiled. You don’t expect someone to recover from. say, autism, or red hair. Autism is a different way of looking at the world and genetic. Red hair is genetic. There is enough depression in our family for me to believe it is genetic. One doesn’t recover from ones genes… When the drugs they offer either create side effects that are worse than the condition (robbed of sex drive, acceptable? Sleeping 18 hours in 24, acceptable?) or don’t even touch the sides, this seems like a total lack of understanding at best or bullying/medical abuse at worst.

    The recovery ruse was, I think, a way of, having medicalised the condition to make money out of it, now a way of shunting people out of having benefits paid who were ‘suffering’ from it. Okay, so this is just me saying that one of the results of having depression for so long is that it has made me radical and boshy about it, in much the same way that people who are born deaf have become in recent years, embracing their condition and getting on with it.

    Which is not to say that we all of us, whatever our condition on this journey, don’t deserve some extra help now and then when the travelling gets tough. And the biggest help we can give ourselves, I think, is to not join in with the chorus of misunderstanding and give ourselves a harder time over it. Recognise in yourself that not everyone is up all the time. Even us depressives have up times, maximise on them and make the most of the magical times that they can be, for the super-poignant beauty the world can offer you during these periods, get out and about and see and take part in as much as you can. Then, during the dark days, recreate those wondrous moments in your head, they can be as good as a cosy fire for comforting you through a bad session. We have the capacity to be run through like a sword with the devastating glory of a sunset, the sweetness of a child’s laugh, the sharpness of a well-crafted lyric, the sensuous touch of a lover, a shower at the end of a hard day, the comfort of a freshly made bed. But it comes at a cost, so make the most of your mind’s investment and drink it all in, be mindful and love those moments that occur, suck it into yourself and enjoy a playback whenever you need it. Appreciate all the good things in your life, a safe home, dry home, food in your stomach, people who care for you, all that basic stuff we take for granted most of the time.

    This will not fill in the pit, it will not paint the sky permanently blue, it will not make little tweety birds burst into the sky. Sorry. But it can smooth over some of the rougher edges, make some of the unbearable times a little shorter, make the bleakest a little less so. Say thank you, a lot, for good thing that happens to you, even if you are not sure who you are saying it to, just say it to yourself. Just acknowledging it as a good thing means you are recognising it as such and that is another little twinkle of happy.

    Wow, going on SOOOOO much…. Winter has been tough, had too much time to think. Wishing you so much positive energy right now, and for me too, I guess. And seriously, a capacity to recognise the smallest good thing in life does help to alleviate the desperation, that ‘just wanting it all to stop’ feeling. Give yourself something to look forward to, a day out in a weeks’ time is better than a fortnights’ holiday in six months time, for example, easier to afford, less time to wait. Do things that pleased you as a child, go to the beach, ride a donkey/horse, do some finger-painting. Tap into your unconscious capacity for joy, wake it up, I know it is there because every now and then my own wakes up and gives me a lovely surprise.

    You are not ill, you are you. No excuses. That is the way you are. And some days you like yourself and other people better than others. Some days stuff is easier to deal with than others. And it is like that for EVERYONE, no matter what they might have us believe!!!!!!!
    all best wishes
    Helen

    Reply
    • Hi Helen,

      It feels like it’s been an awfully long winter, doesn’t it? Winter can be such a miserable time for depressives.

      I also think there is a lot of misunderstanding of depression, and words like ‘illness’ and ‘recovery’ can be very misleading. I try not to think of it as ‘recovery’ but as ‘getting better’ i.e. being better than I was the day before (or two years before, or 10 years before, etc.). Some days are hard, yes, that will always be true. But as long as we focus on moving forward towards some goal, I hope that we’ll all be okay in the end 🙂

      Thank you for your message!
      Michelle

      Reply
  3. Hi Michelle. It was great to come across your blog in the “Top 10 Depression Blogs” list. I’m looking forward to perusing through your posts my friend and following your future posts. X

    Reply
  4. Hi Michelle,

    Thanks for your great articles. I lost a friend to depression and made it my mission to do something about the space. We have started Paralign and our blog is here: http://paralign.me/blog. I would love to connect further and see how we can collaborate. Looking forward to hearing back from you

    Reply
  5. LucyRose

     /  September 14, 2016

    Hi very well written and useful post. I too am a survivor and supporter of women with Depression and anxiety. I have found ways that have helped me retrain my brain and give me great relief and increased my quality of life . I am happy to share these with anyone who would like greater control over the negativity and increase their better days 😊

    Reply
  6. Hi Michelle!

    Really fantastic work you’re doing here. You’re writing really resonates with me; you’ve got such a great way of articulating your thoughts.

    I recently started writing (about anxiety among other things). Would you by chance be willing to take a look? I’d really appreciate a highly trained eye (such as your own!) taking a look at it.

    Keep fighting the good fight!
    Davis

    https://davisyates.wordpress.com/2017/01/31/what-if-im-wrong/

    Reply

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